weekend digs

1. getting some sleep and not having too hard of time during this HUGE weaning stage. (lea is taking it much better than me)
2. wonderful weekend with jeff and lea, resting, hanging out outside, and talking
3. seeing jeff's family today despite my hesitations and having a great time and seeing lea so happy and comfortable with them
4. listening to jeff talk to lea and hold her feet while trying to lull her back to sleep on our long drive home
   
5. jeff's idea to steel away tonight and go watch a movie - movie wasn't great but being out and at the theater was wonderful - whoppers!

nugget: let go, let others take the wheel and choose your battles wisely.

tgif

1. it's been 4 night of sleep training and lea is officially sleeping through the night again!
2. my plan to sleep downstairs has gotten jeff and i at least 5 hours of uninterrupted sleep per night...we're getting there
3. lea cough is finally getting better
   
4. this warm beautiful day
5. dr laura's book "praise for stay at home moms"

nugget: "the whole point is to enjoy the days and build memories" dr laura.
so simple, so true!

clean clothes

1. having extra time to myself today
2. seeing old friends and making new at lea's playgroup
3. yummy dinner tonight - salmon and coconut rice :)
4. third of "sleep training" and feeling more confidant that we can make it through
5. food

simple supper

1. helpful dressing room attendants - a HUGE rarity
2. jeff's relentless support, devotion, and love
3. knowing that the work i'm doing is working to create the perspective needed during my moon phase
4. hearing some wonderful news from a good friend....huge sigh of relief
5. delicious dinner with jeff watching grey's
6. finding sweet inspiration in this month's vogue
7. my visit with jeff's grandparents....it's exhausting but so precious to see lea running over to them to give kisses and laugh and show off her new tricks
8. completing another painting today and feeling so excited about what comes next
   

nugget: all the best parts of life take the most effort (and sometimes a little pain)

weekend digs

1. spending friday night dancing my ass off to my favorite dj's in sf (wiked revival) and feeling so, so happy. first time we went dancing in over 4 years!
2. seeing an old, wonderful friend for the first time in 7 years and enjoying every moment
   
3. now that i've assumed the mom role for a while (as much as i can) i am starting to understand, appreciate, and respect the importance of homemaking. when i do this the whole family is happier - including me!
4. deep breaths and how much they help me....and that i've taught lea how to do them at the right moments as well. sometimes i see that she does them with me.
5. jeff for helping me through the first hard day of my ridiculously long pms cycle by encouraging me to just go home and rest. even though i missed an important event i was happier for the time off.
   
6. learning how to nip drama at the bud - it's art form let me tell you
7. since jeff gets home so late and i'm using our dinning room as my studio...lea and i have dinner picnics on our kitchen floor - frowned upon by many relatives and books, but it's our thing and i know it won't last long
8. lea reciting her vowels for real - this is the first thing jeff tried to teach her when she was 6 weeks old. it's amazing what they absorb (and a bit scary...anyone? anyone?)
9. cuddling into jeff's "nook" and watching old grey's anatomy episodes for the first time after lea goes to sleep
10. the resolve to let lea cry it out at night starting tonight.
    
11. the blow-up mattress i have prepped to help me sleep on the floor below ;)
12. chicken fried rice and the fact that lea ate most of it....yeah a solution for getting her to eat veggies!

nugget: your thoughts drive your results.....the more you obsess on the bad the more it will surround you. the more you take care of yourself and go after your dreams the more amazingly simple it will seem to achieve them.

split pea soup

1. lea sleeping so long last night and until 10:30 this morning!
2. knowing how to head a tantrum off at the pass (at least for now)
3. cafe mezzaluna and their amazing food and coffee
4. andy goldsworthy
5. the spare key that let me into my garage so that i could get the car's spare key in the house after locking lea in the car with my keys and phone - omg. i was at the point of hitting a rock against the window when i remembered the spare - and the fact that lea was smiling and waving at me the whole time.

nugget: taking a few yoga breaths saved me today

easy mondays

1. having such a carefree monday - first in months
2. after lea slept for over 4 hours during her nap i asked her what she dreamt about that whole time and she said "booo" and pointed to my nose and gave me a kiss. holy shit. it's doesn't get better.
3. having some time to chill out today
4. watching lea happily walk through ikea with two fake flowers so big they looked like her walking sticks and breaking for a dance party in the aisles when "i feel it all" played on the loud speakers
5. truly not giving a shit what anyone thinks and having a blast

nugget: a happy mama makes a happy household.

happy weekends

1. an amazing morning walk/hike with jeff and lea, eating breakfast, running around like crazy, and discovering the best pancakes and coffee in town are right down the street from us.
2. my first date with jeff in 7 months; bob dylan concert.
   
3. seeing john cougar mellencamp live last night and falling in love again with his music
4. admitting
5. spending the day with old friends and their amazing kids today
6. i can still do many gymnastics tricks, even after years of not even trying them
7. feeling so healthy and able to keep up with the kids today, running, handstands, cartwheels, playing ball, making them laugh, and just having fun
8. having such a wonderfully blessed life and finally knowing how to appreciate them all more
9. finding peace and pride in being a "homemaker"
10. discussing my business plan with jeff for launching my site and work
11. taking the time to stop and marvel at how far i've come in life
12. having wonderful conversations with jeff about parenthood and life
13. warm, sunny days and feeling the crisp burnt skin on my neck

nugget: the more i reveal the more i connect

surprises

1. making the time to paint today and being so happy about the progress
2. seeing an old friend today and feeling comforted by her advice
3. taking lea's cue and driving up to the city to surprise jeff today - he was so happy
4. seeing great friends tonight, having wonderful food and great conversation
5. feeling so close and happy with jeff
6. finding a huge patch of grass yesterday and spending over an hour with lea, running, dancing, tickling, doing cartwheels, and spinning around like crazy. it was magical.
   
7. running into kristen at the cafe

nugget: trust the process

support

1. seeing friends this morning and being excited that they like work i did for them (thrilled more like!)
2. figuring out a new way to stay happy amongst the daily doings of life
3. reconnecting with some very old friends and realizing how although we all are older we are the same and the connection remains
4. sunny day
   
5. the excitement of knowing jeff and i going to see bob dylan this saturday. yeah!!!

nugget: assume the role you have, do the best job you can, communicate your appreciation for others and in the process feel proud, empowered, and inspired.

finishing this one right now....

new friends

everyone please welcome allie to our iDIG group. i am so excited to have her join our wonderful practice. i met allie through lea's playgroup as well as through an amazing yoga/art workshop she held on mother's day. allie will no doubt be a huge inspiration to us all.

the only (very flexible) guidelines to our practice are to write 5 things everyday that you are grateful for. it could be anything from breathing to fingertips. anything. many of us skip days for various reasons. many of us write nuggets of wisdom as well.welcome.

and can i say how inspiring you all continue to be. these past few weeks have been harder than usual for me, and to see that i'm not alone makes all the difference in the world. you guys rock....so much.

1. not painting yet this week but getting a wonderful insight from kristen that it's OK and maybe a good idea for me to take a break after such a prolific time last week.
2. a few good books and wonderful conversations to help screw on my head again after a few weeks of feeling like it was chopped off and sitting in a clothes hamper somewhere
3. all the amazing women that i am blessed to know and have so much support from
4. looking through boxes today and finding a box filled with a huge collection of love letters, cards, photos, and daily love notes between my hobby and i. amazing timing. what a wonderful reminder of the importance of actively loving, and seeing proof of how we used to do that.
   
5. seeing lea so happy today hanging out with her pals at music class and playgroup today.
6. seeing an old friend yesterday and feeling so good about our grounded conversations. i hadn't seen her since i was 6 mo pregnant.

nugget: "love is not a feeling, it's an ability" from the movie dan in real life

diving in

this...

went to this...

went to this....

went to this today...

1. my beautiful view of the ocean and hills through the trees and clouds
2. talking
3. hot showers uninterrupted
4. reading
5. phalo blue

warmth

friday:

1. morning dance parties
2. simplifying
   
3. our new playroom table - yeah ebay
4. overstock.com
5. the warm sun
6. jeff for encouraging me to continue painting last night
   

nugget: no wisdom today, just trying to keep it up


Sat:

1. inspiring iDIGs from you all - thank you for the "health" post kristen
2. a room to my very own, that i can go to, close the door, and take a break when needed
3. using painting to work through my frustration, disappointment, anger, sadness, regret, etc
4. blue sky farms guatamala coffee
5. my favorite pair of jeans

peanut butter

1. peanut butter cookies
2. the mini hike lea and i did today in the warmth
3. our new favorite spot on our front deck
4. the feeling of finishing a painting
5. starting a new painting today
   
6. sun shining through the clouds
   

nugget (om): Directing our thoughts to the endless of expanse of sky that clouds inhabit, we feel our souls expand to reach beyond any seeming limitations. Following the clouds, we are free to unleash our imaginations.

feist

1. i'm loving my feist albums. lea and i have been singing and dancing all day despite her being sick
2. using painting as a way to procrastinate all the other things i should be doing. this is the reverse of what it's been for a few years now.
   
3. waves of happiness that make me want to burst
4. trader joes tortillas
5. rediscovering our front balcony and enjoying the window of sun

nugget (OM): In our success-driven world it is easy to fall into the trap of thinking that our value lies in our work and the amount of responsibilities we take on. Our true confidence in ourselves comes from being comfortable with our existence, however, and is a result of our awareness of our connection with the universe.

teachers

1. going to painting class tonight despite how tired i am and loving it
2. i'm painting during lea's nap each day consistently and have a few projects i'm excited about
3. being out of "my world is turned upside down right now" mode....petering off at least now that the moon isn't so damn full!
4. jeff for being so sweet and gentle with me while i've been in this state
5. resolving to spend less time online and more time with my paint and instantly noticing the difference
6. a warm cheese and turkey quesadilla when i got home from class.
   

nugget: painting is not who i am but how i claim my space in this crazy world and trying to do it any other way will only make me feel alone and misunderstood....in short, i need to paint to connect to myself and make sense of the world around me. when i don't paint i feel lost.

note: one of my goals is to start getting my work out in the world more so i decided to start including pics of my works in progress. it will help me in many ways. feel free to comment or ignore it. it's just a way for me to get out of my comfort zone and into the world.

i worked on this one today. its gone through a few transformations...

assignments

1. taking the time today to work on a fun new project
2. going for a long walk with lea to fetch the mail
   
3. nice sunny day today - couldn't have been better timing
4. knowing that jeff still believes in me despite everything
5. all the kisses, hugs, giggles, and smiles i get from lea every day
6. reminding myself that life is more of an ocean than a river - the waves can come and go when least expected - and i need to give myself credit for staying afloat through it all
   

nugget (stolen from OM): The universe puts nothing in your path that you are incapable of handling, so you can rest assured that you are ready to grow into your new situation.