i'm back

1. 6 hours uninterrupted sleep last night
2. knowing we'll be in our new place this sunday!
3. jeff for arranging and reserving the movers
4. ability to keep perspective while lea goes through some difficult emotions
5. knowing that things are getting better

nugget: By three methods we may learn wisdom: First, by reflection, which is noblest; Second, by imitation, which is easiest; and third by experience, which is the bitterest.
Confucius

friday

1. 5 hours uninterrupted sleep last night
   
2. seeing what seems to be a good dermatologist for lea's skin and for feeling better after the visit about everything i've done thus far
   
3. catching up with martha and beth in palo alto and knowing we're making a point to meet somewhere each month to keep connected
   
4. following through on one of my new goals and seeing how well it worked during a stressful moment today
   
5. jeff for volunteering to take care of getting us dinner tonight
   

nugget: remember to refer to the "game plan" i created while in a healthy state of mind to help me get through moments when i might not be

almost friday

1. pat coming over today to give me a few hours for myself
   
2. main street sushi
   
3. finding a treasure at the thrift store
   
4. jeff for getting me a new wii game
   
5. supportive and wise email from a friend
   

nugget: taking time for myself is essential to my state of mind

hump day

1. knowing i have many people i can count on for many different kinds of support
   
2. growing
   
3. jeff's thoughtfulness towards me
   
4. witnessing lea learn new ways to communicate
   
5. teaching myself how to play my favorite music on the keyboard
   

nugget: when days get tough i need to remember the healing power of a hot bath with a cool glass of water

yesterday

1. having a sense of humor 
   
2. creating the "banana" song with lea today while she ate and danced
   
3. playing the piano with lea
   
4. talking through life's lessons with smart women
   
5. talking with jeff
   

nugget: being outwardly honest is an act of trust

monday

1. seeing jupiter this morning - one bonus of being up before the sun
   
2. loving conversation with jeff
   
3. clicking in with lea today and having a chat - amazing how much she understands
   
4. after giving lea a bath, while i was drying her, she gave me the sweetest kiss ever
   
5. all the moments of pure happiness that i was able to recognize and appreciate today
   

nugget: part of letting go is trusting that the people i surround myself with can take up the slack (without me having to ask)

windy sunday

1. jeff figuring out a way for me to sleep in till 10:20 today after suffering another long night
2. advil helping my locked jaw
3. finding a wii fit today at target and not having to wrestle it out of someone's paws 
4. new eczema cream that seems to be working a bit
5. dairy - i just love dairy

nugget: i'm starting to get better at letting go. i realize that i can't control how others view me. this takes a lot of pressure off trying to talk through something that i need to just let be. 

saturday - day of rest

1. happy morning with lea - easily going down for a nap
   
2. going to yoga even though i felt too bad to
   
3. jeff taking care of lea today to give me some time for rest
   
4. the clean, cool air today
   
5. delicious dinner
   

nugget: be honest with yourself and others about needing rest, and then take it

spring is here

1. jeff's understanding after a rough night staying up with lea
   
2. seeing dawn and baby mia today at the palo alto zoo
   
3. watching lea spread her wings and roam around the museum like crazy with no qualms about knowing where i am
   
4. our dr calling tonight to address lea's itching
   
5. warm day over the hill
   

nugget: being a mom doesn't necessarily get easier, i think i'm just getting better at it.

new beginning

1. tara for getting me and lea out of the house this morning to enjoy the sun, our friends, and some warm coffee
   
2. how much the above set the tone for us to have a great day - for no special reason
   
3. the new home we'll be moving into in early april - yeah!!!
   
4. jeff for getting us the new home
   
5. lea got a long nap in today
   
6. finding the artist poul anker bech through a random search in wikipedia on the word "elegy". his work has inspired me more than anything in a long, long time. 

nugget: everything that i have been focusing on achieving is slowly but surely coming true.

I'm back

yesterday

1. lea giving me a kiss without any prompt
   
2. lea giving me hugs
   
3. nice time talking with my parents before they had to leave
   
4. jeff for doing all he does to make life comfortable and safe for our family
   
5. the two people in safeway for helping me reach the milk
   

nugget: love is all around me

today

1. sleeping with lea and jeff and bissen last night
   
2. waking up with everyone in our bed and seeing lea happy after a tough night of fevers
   
3. anticipation of good news today
   
4. lea giving us kisses all the time now
   
5. beautiful fog
   

nugget: my life is too good not to enjoy it - even when things are tough

first year visit

1. jeff for always come with me and lea to her appointments
   
2. the doc telling me i can have milk again - yippee!!!
   
3. watching lea crawl on grass for the first time
   
4. figuring out a new way to make lea laugh and eat, all in one
   
5. realizing that i have way more than 5 things to be grateful for every day
   

if i ever get stressed out or upset all i need to do is look at lea and her sweet face and know i have everything in this world and nothing can bring me down.

sunshine sunday

1. jeff fetching us coffee and a scone
   
2. jeff getting up with lea and allowing me to sleep in after a sleepless night
   
3. seeing jeff's grandparents less stressed and happy to see lea
   
4. jeff was home to witness lea's first steps! he was so worried he'd miss it. 
   
5. the look of happiness in lea's face when she takes a break from nursing to give me a big smile
   

nugget: realistic expectations can make all the difference in world

saturday 3/7

1. a sunny, beautiful day
   
2. shoulder work in yoga class
   
3. lea for letting me sleep from 2-7am (yeah!)
   
4. looking for a new home
   
5. jeff's constant effort to help and understand me
   

nugget: nothing meaningful was ever discovered through force

yeah, friday

1. taking care of projects and tasks i've been putting off
   
2. going easy on myself and seeing the positive impact
   
3. have a beer today with some friends
   
4. lea playing with my hair so gently while she nurses
   
5. anticipation of a great weekend
   

nugget: plans should not be looked at as a rule book. plans are only there to create a springboard or a safety net for each day.

revised beliefs

here's the revised top 5 beliefs:

1. my experiences in life have built a strong foundation worthy of the flexibility, skill, and inspiration necessary to achieve anything.

2. life will continue to throw jeff and i challenges, adventures, and blessings all of which will present infinite possibilities to strengthen our bond.

3. as i weave my own passions into my daily routine i will learn to quite my inner critic.

4. the most important gift i can give myself and my family is learning to love myself unconditionally.

5. the process of creating is as important as the creation itself.

thursday 3/5

1. pat coming over to play with lea and giving me a chance to get out for the first time in 3 days
   
2. witnessing lea learning more signs and words each day
   
3. making dinner with jeff tonight
   
4. holding a sleepy lea in my arms and rocking her to sleep - nothing in this world compares
   
5. finding bissen sleeping in the chair next to lea's crib
   

nugget: let go

yesterday, and today

yesterday:

i had a really hard day with cramps and a migraine, but i managed to dig:

1. lea for being such a good girl
   
2. jeff for coming home early to take care of lea so i could rest
   
3. jeff for figuring out how to make soup for me
   
4. jeff for being such an amazing papa
   
5. the extra sleep i got
   

today:

1. jeff for getting up with lea at 5 and playing, feeding, and caring for her while i slept in
   
2. my headache got a little better today, no nausea
   
3. hot showers
   
4. finding inspiration to make lea's b-day decorations and not buy anything
   
5. vanilla soy latte for helping my headache a bit
   

nugget: simplicity is the home of grace

monday, monday 3/2

1. sleeping in until 9
   
2. clearing out my studio and the peace it brings to simplify
   
3. going through old photographs and reflecting
   
4. vanilla soy latte's - no more dairy for me while lea's fighting her eczema :(
   
5. getting to sleep earlier than the past few days (daydreaming of naps tomorrow)
   

nugget: just because i'm busy with something doesn't mean i have to be stressed. enjoy the process as much as possible by being present.

sunday, sunday the start of march

1. my family
   
2. my home
   
3. an amazing sunday happy just living
   
4. turning old beliefs into affirmations
   
5. inventing a new delicious soup
   

nugget: lea doesn't want me to be perfect; just like i only want her to be herself.