tuesday - customer service

1. even though i was on the phone for over 3 hours to work out a mistake by my insurance, i stayed calm, had some really nice people helping me out, and got my premium lowered - so it wasn't a total waste.
   
2. lea and i sharing a new dance we made up
3. sesame street
4. etsy and all the wonderful fabric and supplies i'm finding
5. jeff for going to acupuncture and being totally committed to what he needs to do to make himself get better and heal

nugget: i know people say TV is bad for children (heck we don't even have TV reception) but sesame street is amazing....especially when you have a little one who is miserable with a stubborn cold. it gets her to sing and dance and try out new words, and without it she would be throwing tantrums and be totally lost in the misery of being sick.

banana

1. seeing lea happy for the first time in a few days. poor gilr caught some sort of cold and is still battling the teething ailments.
2. falling asleep today for 1 hour while lea napped - felt soooo good.
   
3. the sun shinning enough for lea and i to go outside for some errands and how much we both enjoyed being out and about
4. jeff for coming home early and taking over the bath and night time routine to give me a break
5. not cooking

saturday - tried and true

1. not shying from the painting assignment today of drawing and painting from a live model. so challenging, but i surprised myself.
2. finding and taking the opportunity to spend a little time today doing my favorite thing - thrifting for clothes in oakland - and finding some gems.
3. the market in oakland and their apple chicken salad. i'm going to try to figure out how they made it - trial and error
4. taking the long way home from my class and enjoying the ride, even though it took me almost 3 hours due to traffic
5. how funny lea is. funnier each day. how she cracks herself up.
   

nugget: when you find yourself in the live of fire resist the urge to fight back or put up barriers. just take one step to the side and find you're still in tact.

friday - friday

1. sleeping solid for 4 hours
2. the fun time we had at fabmo picking out random fabric and leather for fun projects
3. inspired by sarah's recent trip to the rc park i decided to forgo lea's afternoon nap and go there. wowsa was it fun. thank you sarah!!
4. even though i spent 20 minutes in the check out line with a fussy baby i decided to use the time to twirl around with lea, find the alphabet in the trashy mag's covers, and look for goldfish to eat. finding the silver lining.
5. jeff for doing all the dishes when he got home, and me for letting him
6. lea's new routine of gently playing with my hair, brushing my face, and telling me she loves me when i'm tucking her in. this is what it's all about.

nugget: skip the routine once in a while and have adventures.

thursday - confidance

1. going through a rough patch this week and keeping it contained to the issue at hand - with jeff's love, support, and understanding.
   
2. while i was putting lea down to sleep she stopped to brush my face with her hand and give me the softest sweetest kiss good night. as if to say "everything is ok mama. i love you".
3. seeing karin and kate - always a treat
4. etsy and ebay for all the amazing fabric they have at a steal and all the inspiration it brings me to continue making clothes
5. this new resource: http://www.fabmo.org/fabmo/Home.html - repurposing fabric. i have an appointment to nab some fabric tomorrow. so excited.
6. jeff for taking lea to moma while i had lunch with a family friend in the city. jeff said lea was walking around looking and talking about all the art for a few hours. wow. what an attention span.
7. realizing after lunch today how far i've come. i never got defensive when provoked and stayed honest and true to myself despite the context of the conversations.
   

nugget: when you're about to offer your opinion or pass judgement the best course of action is to stop and ask questions instead. it clears things up right away, allows the other party to open up, and diffuses any stress related to defenses, or the like.

weekend - jeff

1. spending the morning with jeff at cca, talking and having lunch after our classes, and jeff giving me some helpful things to think about with regards to my painting process
2. taking the morning to make lea's first homemade dress - and seeing her so happy wearing it - i can't wait to make more
3. inspiration coming from all angles
4. jeff's face when he opened his father's day presents
5. hearing jeff say in the middle of a conversation that he's never been happier in his life than he is right now

nugget: no matter what do the things you love because you never know what path they will lead you to next

wednesday - san francisco

1. blue sky farms savory scones
2. having the chance to see some friends, even if briefly
3. jenny for watching lea while i stole a lunch date with jeff in the city
4. the wonderful conversation with jeff over lunch, discussing our creative plans, finances, and everything else we have a hard time fitting into our busy days
5. finding new inspiration from a few unknown artists (to me) at the moma book store
6. californication - so funny, and such a reminder to take things less seriously

nugget: be honest, be silly, be calm

Monday - trust

1. finding some jeans that i haven't been able to fit into for years and sliding right in. yeah!
2. jeff's kisses
3. lea's kisses
4. the walks lea and i have been taking in the hills and how much they make her smile, sing, and chatter on about
5. the painting that i started this weekend, how i was able to keep going past my comfort level, and how interested lea is in it as it sits on the easel in the living room
6. being consumed by painting, next steps, subjects, layers, colors, brush strokes, and on and on

nugget: being open is an act of trust

thursday - banana bread

1. wonderful visit with lea's great grandma, great aunt & uncle, and auntie in san jose today
2. wandering around and shopping with lea and seeing the stores from a new perspective
3. knowing how to better prepare myself for the inevitable as the years roll by
4. jeff's understanding, listening, and support
5. getting myself through a rough patch today with humor, a good book, and homemade banana bread

nugget: nothing beats a funk like the smell and taste of fresh coffee and homemade, fresh from the oven bread

wednesday - letting go

1. jeff for getting up every morning with lea to feed her, play, make us coffee, sing songs, wash dishes, and give me a chance to sleep in a bit. wow.
   
2. having a home big enough to move my easel into a space with better light
3. jeff for giving me a painting assignment, including deadline, that actually got me to paint today
4. that lea loves her new tights so much she insisted on wearing them again today
5. that lea's sleep is no longer a struggle and how much it helps us all
6. finding beautiful fabric today for 1/2 off amongst a bunch of crap
7. the florescent sunset tonight
   

nugget: let go, then let go some more

monday monday

1. waking up each day to jeff and lea singing and hanging out together downstairs and seeing their faces light up when i arrive on the scene
2. a beautiful, clean home every monday
3. facing my fears and being honest in the thick of it
4. having a wonderful weekend at my new painting class, hanging out with jeff and lea, seeing an old friend, enjoying the amazing weather and good conversations
5. my new "toys" from williams sonoma
6. witnessing and catching lea's amazingly creative ways of communicating

nugget: staying present doesn't make life easier but it makes it much less complicated

friday - going easy

1. sleeping in a bit and having strange but good dreams
2. my cramps not being too bad today, good enough that i was able to be present with lea
3. the new (very old) dinning room chairs i bought and look forward to resurfacing
4. figuring out a healthy chicken pot pie recipe that lea likes enough to eat veggies
5. jeff's sweet email today
6. not being pregnant
   

nugget: plans are good to get things moving, but don't become obligated to them

thursday-reading

i know i'm over my quota but i missed a few days this week :)

1. kristen's b-day and knowing she took good care of herself
2. spending a long lunch at the blue sky farms cafe, eating, talking, and exploring the plants
3. lea sleeping longer and longer each night...progress, finally
4. taking the 2 hours i got from lea's nap to read instead of do chores. felt so nice to get lost in my amazing book
5. discovering new things about me by looking into my past in a new way
6. jeff for telling me i'm beautiful even when i feel anything but, and me allowing myself to believe him
7. how excited jeff is when he gets home in time to help lea get to sleep (and how flexible i have become in allowing her to get to sleep later because of it. in earlier months i would have gotten tense because it would break "the schedule' and now i realize it's what life is all about. amazing what a little perspective shifting can do)
8. feeling in my bones how utterly grateful i am for having such an amazing amount of love and support in my life. despite all my faults i am truly loved. can't be topped.
9. taking the time today to draw
10. letting lea pick out our outfits today and enjoying wearing the crazy indian inspired sweater with silver sequins because of how much it makes lea smile

nugget: from daily om "it is not the absence of the fear but the courage to take action anyway that determines success"

wednesday

1. spending some fun time with lea's playgroup on a sunny day and feeling so relaxed in the process
2. listening to lea practice the ABC song in the car
3. taking the opportunity to sit and read outside in the sun on our deck while lea took a nap...getting some rays
4. richard yates' writing
5. making it through a somewhat stressful day of errands with grace

nugget: creativity must become a habit